


Bye, My First

by reesemin



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:29:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26140429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reesemin/pseuds/reesemin
Summary: It's the way she makes music seem so easy to grasp. It's the way her head bobs to the beat of whatever she listens to. It's the way she looks so full of bliss whenever she's given a chance to create.These are the things I like the most about her. And tomorrow, I will let her know.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 3





	Bye, My First

_ It's the way she makes music seem so easy to grasp. It's the way her head bobs to the beat of whatever she listens to. It's the way she looks so full of bliss whenever she's given a chance to create. _

_ These are the things I like the most about her. And tomorrow, I will let her know. _

—

“I’m going to miss you so, so much,”  **Elia** mutters as she hugs her friends for the last time before they enter college.

“Ah bb, I can’t believe you’re leaving for Japan. Please take care and don’t forget me!” She says, struggling to hold back tears. Her eyes were shining differently, somewhat more brightly than  **Renjun** has ever seen before despite the sadness that comes with it.

When her friends start dispersing to talk to other people, Renjun decides to move.

_ Ah, screw it. I'm going to do this. We won't be seeing each other at all anyway afterwards. _

He taps her shoulder, to which she looks back in surprise. She quickly conceals it with a smile.

“Congratulations to us, Renjun! I hope your college plans go well for you!” she immediately greets. Renjun was stunned for a moment by her statement and is reminded of one of the many reasons why he likes her.

She's just  _ so full  _ of love.

“Uhm, thank you. Congratulations, too!” Renjun scratches his nape while smiling. He then clears his throat. “ **Eumelia** , can I tell you something? Just a little bit...there,” he points to a less crowded spot, to which she agrees.

Renjun leads the way. Elia is the first to speak. “What was it that you wanted to say?”

His eyes scan the surroundings before responding. “Uhm, you see…” he trails off.

“...I like you. Always had since ninth grade. I hope this doesn’t upset you or something. You don’t have to like me back, either. I just wanted to let you know since this is probably the last time we will see each other, anyway.”

Her eyes widen, mind slowly processing the information. A slight blush is seen on her cheeks as she offers a small smile. "Thank you for liking me. I’m sorry I can’t reciprocate, but really. Thank you. I’m a bit, uhm, flustered. Someone likes me...uhm. Wow. That’s new.”

Renjun laughs. “You  _ are _ admirable, though. Your talent in music has always inspired me. Thank you for that. And it’s okay you don’t reciprocate. Like I said, I just wanted to let you know,” he shrugs casually.

“It’s so nice to hear that. I'm glad I was able to inspire you musically. Please do let me know if you create some of your own! I'd love to listen—" she cuts off her speech as her phone rings. 

“I'm sorry, but it seems my parents are looking for me. Good luck on your future plans, Renjun! I'm rooting for you!”

Renjun purses his lips while watching Elia find her way to her family. He smiles to himself, glad that he got his feelings off his chest. Today was probably the longest non-academic conversation he’s ever had with her, and that was more than enough for him.

The words she said echoed in his head as he went home and started packing for his flight to Seoul, nearly a hundred percent sure he was never going to meet her again. There, he would be pursuing his true love, the one thing his small crush inspired him to do.

_Music_.

//////////

[2 YEARS LATER]

"Agh, why is Physics so hard?! Why did I even choose to major in this?" Elia grumbles, a physics book propped before her. Frustrated, she shuts the book and turns on the television, searching for a channel that will pique her interest.

She stops when she sees a beautifully animated countdown in a music channel.  _ Ah, my love for music and art still hasn't died down, _ she thinks to herself, smiling. As the number on screen approaches zero, she finds herself anticipating what's to come even though she has no idea what kind of music to expect.

Much to her shock, a familiar face greets her from the screen. She accidentally hits her foot on her desk which causes her to yelp, and yet she still hasn't gotten over what she saw.

_ That’s definitely the guy who had a crush on me two years ago. _

She watches in earnest, seeing Renjun dance and sing. She wonders how come she never noticed him back then, especially knowing that she had a soft spot for guys with amazing vocals. And Renjun definitely had that.

She shakes her head and slaps herself lightly.  _ What are you thinking? That was two years ago, self. Don't.  _

Elia couldn't deny that she vividly remembers her last talk with Huang Renjun, the guy who confessed to her on graduation day. She had no idea why this memory stuck, but it's as if she had every word memorized. She remembers how Renjun sounded so sure it was the last time they were going to see each other.  _ So this was the reason. _

And so Elia finds herself making a fan account on Twitter, staying up-to-date with the schedule of Renjun’s group, NCT Dream. She starts watching predebut videos, smiling along with the group and tearing up after seeing all their efforts. Her heart particularly grew fonder of the boy she used to see occasionally in the halls of her previous school, the boy whom she once rejected. She listened to their songs so much that she’s started falling in love with Renjun’s angelic voice. 

She starts remembering all the small interactions they’ve had before--working together in a group presentation, crafting for a project (Elia particularly remembers Renjun for his artistic side), some greetings in the hallway. Some days she thinks to herself,  _ what came upon me that day? Why did I reject this amazingly talented guy?, _ but she stops herself before more delusional thoughts come upon her.

Soon enough, her family knows about her being a fan, and her mother, who knew everyone from her batch and thus recognized Renjun, supports her earnestly in this venture. Which is why one year later, when the stars aligned, she finds herself packing for a solo trip to South Korea one summer week in time for a We Boom album signing event.

//////////

“What’s up, NCity!” the host shouts, and the atrium erupts in a chaos of cheers. Member names were cheered by different people, perhaps according to their biases, while some just screamed. Elia was another case, as she sat quietly, filled with joy. _This is how much support they’re getting. This is only literally a small fraction of their fans, and yet their energy is overwhelming._ Somehow, she felt so proud of them even though she only ever met one member before this.

The thought of actually meeting and talking with the members suddenly boosts her energy, and so she herself starts cheering.

“We know you guys are so excited for our Dreamies’ performance tonight, right? Hang on a little in there, because we prepared two amazing performances exclusively for you, both from their latest album, We Boom! Why don’t we make them feel our love from here all the way to the backstage?” The fans start cheering  _ NCT Dream! NCT Dream!  _ over and over, slowly rising in volume. A random  _ wow _ sound was heard, which sent fans reeling and screaming  _ Jaemin-ah! _ . 

“NCITY, ARE YOU READYYYY?!” the host shouts, the smoke machines come on while slowly, the members enter the stage in elegant white outfits. Her eyes scan each member and ultimately land on Renjun.

_ He looks like an angel. _

“You know what time is?” Jeno's legendary line booms through the speakers. Everyone is at the edge of their seats, waving their neobongs or singing along as the dreamies perform. The song smoothly comes to an end, which then transitions to their title track "Boom".

“Everyone still alive?” Haechan shouts. The fans automatically respond with the fanchant. Just as the first time Elia saw them, their choreography was seamless and very synchronized that she couldn't believe her eyes. She finds herself in awe of them, trying her best to watch every member on their part. However, her eyes keep drifting to the one who caught her heart.

By the second pre-chorus, their eyes meet.

Anyone who was looking closely at Renjun would notice a slight change in his eye expression, but as a professional, he easily conceals it afterwards. Elia suddenly feels hot and fans herself.  _ What is this feeling?,  _ she thinks. 

The performance ends with a blast and Elia cheers loudly for the first time. To her relief, Renjun's eyes never went near hers after that.

The table for fansigning was quickly brought into place and the members were arranged as follows: Jisung, Chenle, Jeno, Haechan, Renjun, and Jaemin. Fans have started to line up systematically per row. Elia on the third row starts writing what to say on a notepad so she wouldn't freeze up.

_ Jisung-ah, I hope your hyungs are taking good care of you and that you take care of yourself. Whenever you feel down, just remember, even the sun has ups and downs. Cheer up, fighting! _

_ Chenle-ya, you really amaze me. I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you to learn a lot of things within 3 months before you debut. _

The second row was called to stand up. Elia rushes to write for the other members.

_ Jeno! This might come off weird but you've really been gaining some muscle. How do you discipline yourself? I hope you're doing well and eating right! I really love your control while dancing.  _

She looks up for a moment and catches Renjun's curious eyes on her for a split second before he makes a heart for the fans who came but cannot meet them.  _ My  _ **_heart_ ** _ ,  _ she sighs, placing a hand over her chest. She watches him a little as he communicates with the fans ahead of her, seeing how he smiles and nods his head with what they’re saying.  _ He’s just so radiant and full of love, I can’t handle it, _ Elia thinks before continuing to write.

_ Haechan, your vocals are really one of a kind. I love it so, so much I feel like if you sing me to sleep I either sleep immediately or stay up just to hear your voice. I hope you know just how talented and appreciated you are. _

The staff move to make Elia's row line up. She stands up a little too quickly, causing others to look at her. She bows in slight embarrassment.

Since she didn't have the luxury of time, Elia decides to just not write anything to say to Renjun and Jaemin, letting the spur of the moment take control.  _ You can do this, Elia. You’re great at impulsive sweet messages anyway,  _ she mutters to herself. She can't deny that she's a bit nervous and a lot excited to meet the members.

The line thinned fast and soon enough, she found herself just one person before Jisung. She shakes her hands and clasps them to remove the jitters.

“Hello noona!” Jisung greets, and Elia smiles back and congratulates him for their comeback. She starts going through what she wrote, and as she went forward, requesting each member to write an inspiring message for her. She was able to make Chenle smile so brightly, Jeno do a cute shocked-pouting expression, and Haechan sing 'thank you' with an amazing run.

Until it was time to face Renjun.

He looks absolutely  _ stunning _ that Elia was at a loss for words.

“Uhm, hi.”  _ Wow what a way to start the conversation, Elia. _

He stares for a good 3 seconds before asking her name ( _ as if he doesn't know, _ Elia thinks) which she immediately answers.

“I'm Elia, and I'm a big fan, Mr. Renjun.”

//////////

“Nice to meet you, Elia. What would you like me to write?” Renjun asks, when all he wanted to ask was  _ What are you doing here? _ . 

“Please write me an inspiring message, thank you. I really love your voice. I listened to all your songs--you are so talented.”  _ Oh, how the tables have turned. _

Renjun starts writing with an amused smile. “Ah, thank you. How have you been?”

“I'm fine, having some difficulties in school but I got a little break and took a flight to meet my talented idols  _ who inspire me _ ,” she says. 

He chuckles as the memory of graduation day flashes back in his head. “Ah, I hope your classes go well. Study hard! I'm glad to hear we inspire you. Please continue to support us in the future as well,” Renjun says the last part out of habit. He then looks up after signing and decides to play. “Saranghae,” he says with a wink.

To be honest, Renjun never thought he would meet his first love again in this way, and that his emotions aren't as erratic as he thought they would be.  _ I guess time really heals,  _ he thinks. 

_ But that doesn't mean I wouldn't want to be friends with her after all this time. _

//////////

“Saranghae,” Renjun suddenly says with a wink, which takes Elia aback. She smiles and bows to hide the rosiness of her cheeks.  _ I screwed this whole conversation up,  _ she thinks.  _ Nothing to lose anymore with Na Jaemin. _

“Thank you so much, Renjun-ah,” she says before moving to Jaemin.

Renjun nods and says, “See you next time.” Before Elia got to say anything to Jaemin, she watches Renjun whisper something to him which made him cross his brows in confusion. Renjun, however, just proceeds to greet the next fan.

Jaemin wastes no time in smiling at Elia. “Hello, beautiful czennie!”

“Hello, more beautiful Nana! It's nice to finally meet you,” Elia answers.

“Aw, but I'm happier to meet you, ogu~? What would our lovely czennie like me to write?”

Elia responds the usual and showers Jaemin with praises while he signs on his page in the album.

“Elia, Nana has a question…” Elia hummed in response.

“Please come closer, I need to whisper a little,” Jaemin says with an innocent expression. Elia's heart thumped as Jaemin leaned a bit forward.

“What is up with you and Renjun?” His eyes turn teasing. Elia gets flustered once more.

“I'm from Beijing,” _same as Renjun,_ she answers, omitting the latter part, but Jaemin seems to pick up. 

“Oka-ay!” he says, smiling. “Thank you for coming all the way here to support us. I hope you received a lot of positive energy from our performance earlier and bring them back to Beijing. Take care always!” He makes a heart with his hands, which Elia returns with a small finger heart.

Elia goes back to her seat, looking at all the messages the members wrote. She saw that Jisung drew something cute alongside his message while Chenle wrote a simple  _ fighting always! _ . Jeno wished her to stay healthy and disciplined, while Haechan wrote that he'll meet her and sing in her dreams.

She took a deep breath before opening Renjun's page.  _ Here goes nothing. _

She opens it...and closes it immediately, not believing what she saw. She then cracks it open just a little, enough for only her to see.

_ I have so much I want to say, writing here isn't enough. Take care! _

_ KKT: [number] _

_ 11 PM KST, text first _

Soon enough, all the fans have their album signed, but the event still had one more thing up its sleeve. The boys stand up, and the table is brought backstage. They were handed three microphones.

“Czennieee~” Haechan shouts, which makes the crowd go wild.

Each member delivers their ending ment smoothly, until it was time to wrap up. But before that, Haechan announces that they’ll be choosing one lucky fan to take a group photo with them.

“Yes, you heard it right! One lucky fan to take pictures with us!” Jeno says, and everyone screams for their attention. However, it seems they already made up their mind.

“E-Elia noona?” Chenle says, glancing at Jaemin for confirmation, and everyone searches for a fan named Elia. Her eyes widen and she squeals. Elia then smiles brightly and walks up the stage.

“Yah, hello again, Elia!” Jaemin greets, arms wide. Renjun has his lips pursed while Jaemin keeps talking off mic. “So, what did our Injunnie write on the page he told me not to view?” He said while looking like he’s not talking about something so controversial. Jisung’s jaw visibly drops a little, but Hyuck was fast to signal him to hide his expressions.

Elia smiles back, making sure to keep up the facade for the observers. “Are we friends now? I’ll only tell my friends about it.”

Renjun smiles without his eyes. “Ya, not even your friends, Elia.”

To spite Renjun, Elia starts. “Jaemin-ah, he wrote…”

“I’m listening,” Hyuck says.

“YA!!!” Renjun shouts a little too loudly which earned him a warning glance from their manager. Elia doesn’t know how they found their positions but somehow she ended up in between Renjun and Hyuck for their photo. As the cameraman counted to three, Hyuck says “don’t be shy, tell me what Renjun wrote” in a volume only Elia can hear. This makes her smile a little bit brighter with a small flush she hopes would not be captured by the camera. She thanks each member after the photo, subtly lifting her hand into a call sign when facing Renjun.

_ I’m the most successful fan ever, _ Elia laughs at the thought.

For the whole trip back to the hotel, Elia couldn’t erase from her mind what just happened earlier. She can’t believe any of it was real, and that her crush (WHO IS A KPOP IDOL!!!) gave her his number. Yes, he may have had a crush on her, but she came to the signing not for any special treatment. She just wanted to let him know she kept her rash promise that she’d listen to his songs.

_ Just like how he just wanted to let her know she’s appreciated. _

She never expected things to go the way they did.

Elia throws her bag onto a chair and jumps on the bed as soon as she reaches her room. She grabs a pillow and covers her face out of  _ kilig _ .  _ Agh, I’m so embarrassing. _

Once she got over (at least, a little bit) from the events, she decides to eat out.

//////////

Renjun couldn’t stop checking the time every minute. It’s already 10:35 PM but he’s still at the company, discussing the concept of their next comeback. Hyuck catches on this behavior and narrows his eyes at him, but is ignored by Renjun. As soon as the meeting ends, he stands up so quickly that everyone turns to look at him.

“Err, sorry. I need to go to the bathroom,” he excuses, but Hyuck smirks. Renjun leaves first and checks his phone--no messages. He starts to think maybe he miswrote a digit, or worse, the album got to the wrong hands. He shakes it off.  _ Renjun-ah, stop overthinking. The Elia you know wouldn’t compromise you like that. _

He exits the bathroom to find the members waiting for him. “That was one fast comfort room break, Renjun-ah,” Hyuck teases.

“Shut up. Let’s go back to the dorm,” Renjun says without missing a beat. Hyuck laughs, and they all get in the car.

_ Time check--10:51 PM.  _ They’re about 15 minutes away from the dorms, and Renjun is starting to get anxious. He silently wishes that they arrive earlier than usual, because he sure is going to get hell if these boys find out he just gave his number to a  _ fan,  _ even though Elia’s an acquaintance from predebut.

_ 10:57 PM.  _ Renjun starts bouncing his leg. Unfortunately, Jisung points it out.

“Hyung, what’s wrong?”

Renjun shakes his head. “Just excited to get home.”  _ Good thing Jisung’s the type to not catch on whenever I’m lying. _

10:58…

10:59…

_ 11:00 PM _

_ Message from [unknown number] _

_ Hi! It’s me. _

_ I mean, Elia. _

Renjun suddenly bolts up his seat, which does not go unnoticed.

“Hyung, there’s really something with you. What is it?” Jisung asks again.

“Renjun-ah, are you okay?” Jeno adds. 

Jaemin is woken up by the sudden conversation. “What are you talking about?” he says drowsily.

“Nothing. Go back to sleep. Really, nothing. I just need to get home as soon as possible.” This time it seems no one believes him, but he’s determined not to speak about this--at least, not until he gets to talk with Elia first.

_ Please wait a moment, I’m still not home hhh I’ll text you back _

Renjun presses send before a dreamie decides to take a peek at his screen.

As soon as the car pulls to a stop, Renjun is hurrying out and up. He enters the dorm without thought and rushes to his room, locking it.  _ Thank goodness I don't have a roommate,  _ he thinks _. _ Renjun immediately types out a message.

_ 11:05 PM _

_ Hi, sorry to keep you waiting. Just got home. Can I call now? Would a video call be fine? _

_ Elia _ |  _ 11:06 PM _

_ hh yes :)) _

The phone barely rings before Elia picks it up.

“Hi,” she says.

“Hey.”

An awkward silence falls upon them. Renjun is the first to break it.

“It's been so long since I saw a familiar face outside the entertainment, so I'm sorry if you find  _ this,” _ he gestures, “weird.”

“No, it's okay!” she quickly replies. “It feels nice to talk to someone I know in an unfamiliar city.”

Renjun nods and looks straight into the camera while asking. “How have you been, for real?”

“I've been well, I guess? Well enough. Your songs keep me company whenever I study, work out, wash the dishes, when I'm sad. I remember our last conversation, you know? I kept what I said and listened to your own songs.”

He scratches his nape in embarrassment. “You actually did.” He pauses before continuing. “How's your music coming on?”

She sighs. “Uhm, it's been a while since I made music. I've been so consumed by college and suffering because I don't  _ like  _ my major. I just took it because I had a good enough grade in Physics and thought it might be where I should go. You know, it’s hard to pursue art… I feel like it's too late for me to switch, too, since it's already been three years…”

Renjun thinks of how to respond. “Hmm, for me I think it’s never too late to pursue what you love. Maybe if you really don’t want to be delayed, stay and finish that course. It’s hard, but knowing you, I know you can do it. After, when you graduate, you can always choose another direction for yourself. You don’t have to live your whole life doing something just because you spent four years studying it.”

He sees Elia blinking back tears which causes him to panic. “Ah, I’m sorry! Did I say something wrong?”

Elia shakes her head. “No, no! It’s just… ah, I never… Thank you. Thank you so, so much, I needed to hear that. That comforted me a lot. Ah, why am I tearing up?!” She wipes her eyes. “Sorry for getting emotional.”

“It’s okay. I actually didn’t want to write a cliche inspiring message because I wanted to know where you’re coming from, and now I’m glad to be able to help with context.”

“Thank you, really.” A small, comfortable silence falls upon them while Elia wipes the remaining tears. After that, she speaks. “Renjun-ah, there’s something I want to ask, but this is a bit sudden…”

“Shoot.”

“Why have I never heard you sing back then?”

Renjun is slightly taken aback despite the warning, and chuckles. “That's because I never did. I only sang whenever I was sure no one else was around.”

Elia pauses as if she's thinking. She takes a deep breath. “I'm going to be shameless now and say what I want to.”

“Go on.”

“If I ever heard you sing back then, I think I would have liked you back.”

Renjun gets flustered, unable to respond.  _ How am I supposed to answer that?  _ He, however, is saved from replying upon hearing a dolphin laugh outside his door, followed by shushes.

_ Ah, screw them. _

“Wait a moment,” Renjun says, getting up and opening his door to reveal all of the dreamies camping outside. He sighs.

“How long have you guys been there?”

“I just passed by now—”

“Not long—”

“Only a little while—”

“Since the beginning,” Chenle blurts.

“Hyung, did you really give her your number?” Jisung asks.

“DON’T YOU GUYS KNOW PRIVACY?!” Renjun shouts. While he scolded the boys to go away, he didn’t notice Jaemin entering his room and greeting Elia.

“Eli-yaaa~ I’m going to be quick before Renjun sees me so,” Jaemin takes a deep breath before continuing, “pleasetakecareofourrenjunniewelovehimsomuchanditrustyouwouldtakecareofhimbecauseheseemstolikeyoualotandyouseemtolikehimtoo--”

“NA JAEMIN!” Renjun says with his hands on his hips. Elia couldn’t help but laugh.

Jaemin gives Elia a last glance, mouthing  _ annyeong  _ with a small wave _. _

“Agh, I’m so sorry Elia, I think they heard  _ everything _ . I swear I’m going to beat them up if they spill anything to anyone, so don’t worry about that. Also, Na Jaemin that little f-- agh,” Renjun says while pulling at his hair in frustration.

“It’s okay. I don’t think they heard me, though, but they probably heard you. It’s fine.”

“Did Jaemin say anything that I should kick him for?”

Elia laughs. “Uhm, I don’t know…”

“SAY IT.”

Elia smacks her lips. “He told me to take care of you.”

“Ah, Jaemin-ah,” Renjun makes a  _ tsk _ sound.

“Also, Jaemin didn’t lie, though,” Elia suddenly says.

Renjun’s brows crease in confusion. “Hmm?”

Elia takes a deep breath. “This is probably, truly, the last time we're seeing each other like this, right…”

“What are you getting at?” Renjun replies, clearly lost.

She doesn’t stop at his response and continues her thought, staring straight into the camera, deep into Renjun’s soul.

“I just want to let you know that I like you. For a year now.”

He stops to process what he heard. He had always wanted to get her attention back then--even just the tiniest interactions with her made him happy--but that was three years ago. Sure, when he saw her again during the fansigning, Renjun felt elated that they met once more. But it was just that: nothing more.

Time as a trainee and as an idol washed away the feelings from his old life.

And so he answers with the only statement he can say.

_ “I'm sorry I can't reciprocate.” _


End file.
